Maintaining calmness, especially in challenging circumstances, can feel like an uphill battle, particularly if you’ve struggled with anger or rage throughout your life. Insights from Attia and Huberman reveal effective strategies for managing intense emotions and fostering a kinder inner dialogue.
Understanding the Inner Monologue
One of the critical steps to staying calm is becoming aware of your inner monologue. Often, we are so absorbed in our thoughts that we don’t realize how harshly we treat ourselves. For those who have experienced significant anger, this self-talk can be extraordinarily violent and critical. Recognizing this pattern is the first step in transforming your mindset.
The Impact of Self-Talk
Your inner dialogue can significantly influence your emotional state. If your self-talk is filled with anger and judgment, it can spill over into your interactions with others. This negativity can create a cycle of self-loathing and outward aggression, making it difficult to remain calm in any situation.
Transforming Your Inner Voice
To break free from destructive self-talk, consider the following exercise:
- Identify Triggers: Notice when your inner dialogue turns negative. What situations cause you to berate yourself?
- Shift Perspective: Instead of criticizing yourself, imagine you are speaking to a close friend who has made a mistake. How would you respond? Likely, you would be much kinder and understanding.
- Record Your Thoughts: Speak your thoughts into your phone as if you were offering advice to that friend. This exercise not only helps you articulate kinder words but also provides an opportunity to listen back and reflect.
- Share with a Trusted Person: Send your recordings to a therapist or trusted friend. This vulnerability can further reinforce the shift in your internal narrative.
The Power of Neuroplasticity
The brain’s ability to change—known as neuroplasticity—means that it’s never too late to reshape your thoughts and reactions. After consistently practicing this new approach for about four months, you may find that the intense, angry self-talk diminishes significantly.
Building a Kinder Inner Narrative
Through this process, many individuals discover they can maintain higher standards for themselves without resorting to harsh criticism. As you learn to communicate with yourself more lovingly, you’ll find it easier to stay calm, not only within yourself but also in your interactions with others.
Embracing Change and Growth
It’s essential to recognize that change takes time and effort. The journey of transforming your self-talk is ongoing, but the results can be profound. As you become more aware of your thoughts and their impact, you’ll develop a greater capacity to remain calm, no matter the situation.
Build Trust with Your Audience
The path to calmness is rooted in understanding and compassion, both for yourself and others. By working to change your inner dialogue, you can create a more peaceful existence that benefits both your mental health and your relationships.